Stars give off all the light a couple of kindred hearts need to see. She looked so beautiful with a few stars glowing on her face. Her pale delicate skin dusted with a light coat of makeup she didn’t even need. Her green eyes sparkled with life. They were always so full of excitement, for nothing in particular. Her twisting brown hair playfully coiled down to her shoulders. She was a portrait I could stare out for hours, etched in my memories for eternity.
“I wish you could see life the way I did.” Her soft lips released the words to break the silence we had been sharing.
“Part of me has that same wish, but I am far to jaded to see outside my own eyes.” My words spilt out and I was careful to dam up the swell of emotion that followed. Every night I lived and died in her eyes, and tonight was no different.
“There is an amazing person drowning in your self-doubt.” With her words her eyes trailed out the window, like she was collecting her words from the stars.
“That self-doubt is partly responsible for creating that person. We are all tragically flawed.” My words where hard to find in the moon light, but she did her best to understand. Our nightly conversations were all that made me feel alive on such a stormy few years. The clouds where closing in over my head, but for the few real moments we shared alone, none of that mattered.
“One day you will find him, that great person inside you, and I can’t even begin to imagine what you will be like then.” She was always trying to save me from myself, and it was hard to tell if she was winning the battle or not.
“Hopefully someone who makes a difference.” My gaze broke the electric galaxies in her eyes and found the stars in the sky.
“6 billion of us shape this small blue marble careening through space. It is such a small segment of the entire picture. Like a speck of insignificant dust. And I want nothing more than to impact it. To be remembered. Immortalized by the turning of the page and the actions of my life.” Sometimes I felt my words where lost on her, but in reality she understood she just didn’t have the words for a response. I felt the sensation of her skin meeting mine; I could hold her hand forever. But it meant far more to me, than it ever would to her. Certainly not for lack of trying though.
“One day I hope to sweep you off your feet, steal your heart, and be your prince in shining armor.”
“I hope you do too.” Her voice trailed off undoubtedly signifying the improbability of that happening. Everything that stood in my way she knew far better than I did. Life was like a mine field of complications, and my heart was taking a beating. It would be a miracle if I pulled through, and she was a miracle to me. She turned the car engine to life and it groaned. I knew this was the start of the goodbye. And when she left, parts of me left with her. Wondering if I would ever get to wear that suit of armor. And the truth was I never would.
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